Today, 7 February, is #timetotalk day, a growing social movement to change the way people think and act about mental health problems.
Right up there with bereavement and moving to a new house, getting a divorce or separation can be one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s lifetime.
Money worries, concerns for the children, increased anxiety and fear, lack of control, arguments, disappointment, failure…the raft of negative emotions make pretty much everything about divorce stressful.
So, what can you do about it? Here are our 7 tips for dealing with divorce and separation stress.
Do make time to talk
A little talk therapy goes a long way. Friends, family, a counsellor or support group, find a place you can unload your worries and talk things through. And whilst the phone is great, meeting up and chatting face-to-face is particularly helpful.
It might be the last thing you want to do but getting out there and staying active is a great way to improve your emotional well-being and elevate your mood. And you don’t have to run a marathon. Pick what works for you: a walk listening to music can do wonders.
Take care of yourself. Living a lifestyle that promotes feelings of strong self-worth and compassion can help your handle periods of adversity. And it really is about the small things: read a book, rest by the fire, take a hot bath, have a warm drink, eat bright and nutritious food and surround yourself with positive people. It will make a big difference.
Let go of what you cannot change
You are not in control of how people react or what actions they take. Their behaviour = their responsibility. However, you can control how you react to them. Avoid conflict and mud-slinging and learn to walk away. Let go of any outcomes and learn to not resist but instead flow with the changes.
Feel don’t fight your emotions
Burying negative emotions does not work – they will always find a way of coming out. So, face them head on and feel them. Of course, it’s painful, separating is, but by feeling the emotions involved you will learn to accept them much quicker.
Remember you are not alone
Marriages end, relationships breakdown, all day, every day around the world. You are certainly not alone, and families do survive. So, steer clear of the censored happy couples on social media and focus on supporting yourself and your family.
Take your time (it is a great healer)
An oldie but still a goodie. In the darkest of days, it will feel like things will never get better, that the future is full of sadness, but it will. Going through a divorce is a process of grief, with lots of interlinking stages but acceptance will happen. And people will get there at different times so take the time you need and have compassion for others.
Here at Stowe Family Law, we support our clients to dial down any stress and focus on the case to help them reach the most amicable solution possible. The majority of our cases avoid going to court. However for those cases that require a settlement in court, we deliver a robust and strong approach along with the support and reassurance clients need to manage their stress through a challenging time.