Brexit stress: A divorce no less

Divorce|Stowe guests|November 6th 2019

Brexit and divorce 

We are joined by  Kids Come First, a unique parental support workshop & child-focused training program suitable for all separated parents on the blog today.  Founder and Director, Nicola Withycombe shares her views on the startling similarities between Brexit and the divorce process with some tips on how to survive both.

Brexit is the very disorder of divorce

Today we are in the middle of an almighty mess. Where one party does not want to separate and another is ready to leave. Does this sound familiar? Oh yes – Brexit is the very disorder of divorce!

As with most divorces, the majority are not as well equipped for the long and winding road both parties face during a divorce/separation. Divorce is full of surprises! As with the UK and Europe, there have been ups and downs, with the various family members becoming partisan to a cause or defecting to the other side.

And all the while, England and its inhabitants grow more and more confused and disorientated in the process! A bit like the children (population) getting lost while the parents (politicians and governments) try and work out an agreement. Blame, distrust and confusion are becoming a common occurrence. The daily ups and downs, the peaks and troughs. The now daily dread of, “what now”?

We try to make sense of one daily feed on the situation, to then be told of another the next day. There is little space to get one’s head around the daily tumultuous changes in the news. One minute it’s we are leaving, the next a general election, the next a ‘No Deal’. This has been one hell of a divorce proceeding in the style of the movie Kramer vs. Kramer!

As one can imagine, not too dissimilar to divorce there are emotional repercussions. Unsurprisingly, stress levels in the UK have gone up again this year. Depression is also on the increase. The population feel bleak, confused, exhausted and rudder-less. There is an abundance of anger and frustration and this has an impact on general morale, especially as the divorce proceedings have been going on for 3 years!

So how to survive a Brexit bombardment?

As is typical of Britain and it’s stoic inhabitants, and in the true style of surviving the Blitz, a ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ attitude prevails. Business is as usual – albeit we cannot be in denial anymore – action and hard decisions now need to be taken.

It would be interesting to have an idea of the number of applications for British citizenship in the last three years? Having as much clairvoyance as possible is pretty hard right now with no crystal ball! But thinking of all eventualities is necessary. Being informed, planning for possible outcomes, understanding and being adaptable is being well prepared, Again, similar to divorce, examining and exploring all the options and trying to be flexible.

Keep reading the Brexit news from a reliable source. Try not to overload your system with too much ‘intel’. Stick to a reliable media source. Sensationalist media will only increase your anxiety and ignite more fears. It’s a bit like having a gossipy friend who dramatises everything. Don’t read before bed or before you have had your first coffee in the morning.

Talking to family members who have voted differently will be interesting. Dinner parties and conversations over drinks, in meetings and uber rides, have been filled with the ‘B’ conversation. This situation has been both decisive/divisive in creating a great divide in families too. Again, choose when you want to spend ‘airtime’ on this topic.

If getting wound up, you can take a time-out, take a deep breath or bring up this topic of conversation again in a calmer environment. It’s harder to move in a storm. Of course, people are bound to react and have an opinion.

This and will have an enormous impact on our lives. The binary referendum has divided the nation. As with any conflicting questions, there will often be extreme answers.

Of course, we can’t have all the assets and benefits that we once had and there will surely be teething problems – whatever is decided. Even more now than ever, it is time to ‘take a deep breath’ and ‘carry on regardless’!

Get in touch

If you would like any advice on divorce or other family law issues please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here. 

Kids come first

Further information can be found on their website or email info@kidscomefirstuk.co.uk or call in confidence on 0778 9497275 to discuss how they can help you.

The blog team at Stowe is a group of writers who share their advice on the wellbeing and emotional aspects of divorce or separation from personal experience. Guest contributors also regularly contribute to share their knowledge.

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