Tech abuse

Perpetrators utilise different forms of technology to control, monitor and harass their victims and this is particularly prevalent within romantic relationships.

Alongside tech abuse, abusers will often be financially, emotionally, and physically abusing their victim. This is often the case within romantic relationships or can also be post-separation.

Sexual abuse often goes hand-in-hand with tech abuse, particularly the sharing, or threat of sharing, intimate images.

Deepfakes are a large part of tech abuse. Deepfakes are used to sexually abuse victims by superimposing their face onto a pornographic image. These images are often used as a threat or a form of blackmail.

There are signs and red flags to watch out for if you think you might be a victim of technology-facilitated abuse.

Usually, your gut feeling is right and believing yourself is one of the first steps to identifying whether you are a victim.

One of the first signs you are likely to notice is that the abuser seems to have a lot of information about you that you have not shared with them. For example, information about meetings and where you have been.

They may start to show up wherever you are even though you have not told them where you are going or when you will be there.

They may use information from conversations you have had with others against you.

If you are going through the divorce process, they may have confidential details from your legal team.

If stalker-ware has been installed on your phone without your knowledge or consent, you will most likely notice much faster battery drainage, and your phone being hot to touch. Your data usage will be much higher than normal. This is because your information is being synced to another device.

Other signs to look for are emails appearing and then being read, and quickly clicked back to unread.

You may miss messages because they have been opened before you get to them.

There may be glitches in phone calls, sometimes with specific people but often with all your connections.

Being a victim of technology-facilitated abuse can be extremely scary and stressful. Dealing with it can seem insurmountable, particularly if the perpetrator has command of all your devices, as sending messages, emails or making calls to support charities or networks will be monitored.

Importantly, do not make any significant or sudden changes when you discover you are being monitored. This can alert the abuser and worsen the situation.

Reaching out for support is essential. If possible, get a burner phone and make contact with the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 2000 247. Alternatively, approach a trusted person or a safe phone to do this.

Refuge has a tech safe website that shows you how to secure your devices and technology: https://refugetechsafety.org/

There is plenty of help and support available. If you are in urgent need, call the police immediately on 999.

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is a first port of call, along with Refuge, a charity committed to supporting women and children who are victims of domestic abuse.

The Refuge website provides key information about how to deal with technology-facilitated abuse.

Family lawyers can also be excellent sources of support. If you are dealing with a separation or divorce, it is important to inform your lawyer that you are being abused so that they can assist in setting up means of communicating with you confidentially.

This may include creating a new email account completely separate of your other one that the abuser may have access to.

Stowe Family Law have a podcast relating to this topic where tech abuse is discussed in depth with Emma Pickering, Senior Operations Manager at Refuge.

Charities like Refuge can help to protect children. Children can be used as vehicles of abuse, so it is important they are not overlooked and are protected in their own right.