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Internal Relocation: when a parent wishes to move to another part of the UK, what rules apply?

When I was two years old, my mother and I relocated from London to Yorkshire. My parents had split up, my mother needed the support of her family in Yorkshire and my father needed to be in London for his job. Thankfully my parents agreed on this arrangement and did not need to go through the courts. I have always maintained a very good relationship with my father. I could not see him every day, but he called every night and I saw him every other weekend.

Looking back, I’m sure it was not my father’s idea of an ideal situation. However both of my parents made it work and now, even in my 20s, I still speak to both parents on a daily basis. In the cases where relocation is permitted, it will always be hard for the parent left behind. However it is possible to maintain a good relationship, and I know this from personal experience.

In this post I’m going to look at the relocation of children within the UK. The tests that are applied are quite different to the tests that are applied when a parent wishes to move, with a child, to another country. What both sets of tests share is that the child’s welfare is considered paramount.

The test of exceptionality

The test for whether to allow an application to relocate within the UK is the test of exceptionality. It  was created by the case of Re E (Residence: Imposition of Conditions) [1997] 2 FLR 638, which was the first reported decision of the Court of Appeal in relation to the relocation of a child within the UK.

In this case the mother was granted residence of the children, but with the condition that they reside at a named address unless otherwise ordered or agreed by the father. The mother appealed this on the basis that if a residence order was granted in her favour, there should be no imposition upon her right to choose where she and the children should live within the UK.

Lady Justice Butler-Sloss agreed with this in her judgment allowing the appeal, but stated that “there may be exceptional cases” in which the court may have concerns about whether the parent is a satisfactory carer for the child, but there is no better solution than to place the child with that parent. In cases such as these the court may consider it necessary to place certain conditions over the parent, including a condition of residence, in order to keep some control over the parent. In that short phrase, to use Lord Justice Wilson’s words, “thus were the seeds of a new test sown”.

The case of Re S (A Child) (Residence Order: Condition) [2001] EWCA Civ 847 examined the test of exceptionality. Lord Justice Thorpe stated that Lady Justice Butler-Sloss was simply trying to safeguard against never saying never in family litigation, but that imposing restrictions on the primary carer regarding where they should live was only in “highly exceptional” cases. Lord Justice Clarke affirmed this, stating that “a condition should only be imposed in genuinely exceptional cases”.

The problem is that “exceptional” cases are not defined. In Re E, Lady Justice Butler-Sloss gives an example of what she would consider an “exceptional” case, but there is no definitive list or guidance. In Re S the Court ordered, “with considerable regret”, that the appeal be allowed and to remit the case for reconsideration by the county court.

This case was then further appealed in Re S (A Child) (Residence Order: Condition) (No 2) [2002] EWCA Civ 1795. By this time exceptionality had become part of the principle. Lady Justice Butler-Sloss made reference to “the principle enunciated in Re E … that the court ought not in other than exceptional circumstances to impose a condition on a residence order to a primary carer who is providing entirely appropriate care for the child.”

In that instance the appeal was dismissed. The mother was bound to the order, which placed restrictions over her right to relocate within the UK, stating that she must remain in the Croydon area. The test of exceptionality was further examined in this judgment. Lady Justice Butler-Sloss referred to her judgment in Re E:

I did not intend in my judgment in re E to exclude the possibility that an exceptional case might arise in which a parent against whom there is no complaint might nonetheless have to face some restriction of movement.

She describes section 11(7) of the Children Act 1989 as a “safety net” that the court may use in exceptional circumstances to impose restrictions on the primary carer of the child, when the paramount status of the child’s welfare requires them to do so.

Criticism

The recent case of Re F (Internal Relocation) [2010] EWCA Civ 1428 criticises the test of exceptionality. This case concerned a mother who wished to relocate with her new husband and four children to the Orkneys. She was a GP, as was her husband who had strong family links to the island, and they had accepted a job share there. The mother had applied for a specific issue order allowing her to move with the four children from their home in North East England. The father opposed the application. In the first instance the application was refused and the mother subsequently appealed this decision.

In his judgment, Lord Justice Wilson referred to the Children Act 1989 and made his feelings about the test of exceptionality very clear:

It is too late for it to be permissible for this court to rule that, in internal relocation cases, the analysis of the child’s welfare, informed by consideration of the matters specified in section 1(3) of the Act, should not be conducted through the prism of whether the circumstances are exceptional.  The recorder thus rightly asked himself whether the circumstances were exceptional; his answer was that they were; and the main thrust of the appeal is that he was plainly wrong so to have concluded.  But, for the reasons given, I believe that, had I not felt bound by authority, I might have wished to suggest that a test of exceptionality was an impermissible gloss on the enquiry mandated by section 1(1) and (3) of the Act.

Lord Justice Wilson dismissed the appeal, because the children’s welfare required it: some of them had expressed strong views about not wanting to move. In doing so he was ruling that the previous judge had not made any error in his judgment. Lord Justice Wilson reluctantly concluded that in reaching this conclusion the case was deemed exceptional, but said that he did not agree with the case being interpreted as such.

This, for now, is the test that we have. It is hoped that eventually there will be some consistency between the rules applied to internal and external relocation. Why should a case have to be “exceptional” to place restrictions on where a parent should live if they wish to relocate within the UK, when there is no such need if the parent wishes to move to a different country?

In cases involving relocation there will always be a party that is left feeling unhappy but I do not think it is right that some of these cases have been labelled as exceptional. To me it seems quite normal that when one parent wants to relocate, the other parent is opposed to it because they do not want to lose that contact with their children. If the test of exceptionality is to remain then, to my mind, it is imperative that some clearer guidance is given as to what an “exceptional case” amounts to.

Laura Guillonis the principal trainee solicitor at Stowe Family Law, assisting the Senior Partner. Laura is half French and speaks French fluently. Her interest is in ancillary relief, particularly cases that have an international element.

The blog team at Stowe is a group of writers based across our family law offices who share their advice on the wellbeing and emotional aspects of divorce or separation from personal experience. As well as pieces from our family law solicitors, guest contributors also regularly contribute to share their knowledge.

Comments(45)

  1. Marilyn Stowe says:

    Many thanks Laura for a great series, also to your parents for consenting to discuss your own experiences as a family. I know it was something you wanted to do and it is much appreciated.

  2. Christopher says:

    Hi,

    Thanks for your series of articles, they’ve been really informative.

    One question I have is which article applies to my situation (internal or external):

    My ex partner is looking to relocate from England to Scotland. Would this be considered an internal or external relocation?

    Thank you

    Chris

  3. Lukey says:

    Some of this seems common sense to me, if the parents cannot work it out between them and the parent with main custody wants to move a significant distance from the other parent, causing the other parent to lose the ability to see their children frerquently – then it should be denied unless the circumstances are truly exceptional (as discussed above).

    In my view the key point here though is the parent without main custody should be given the option to take over main custody if they find their circumstances allow it and the other party insists on moving.

    The best for all concerned is an agreement between the parties, but if they cannot agree and the parent with main custody doesn’t want to risk losing that privilege – then don’t move away !

  4. advice about moving away from ex- please read?! says:

    […] a distance away that affects that contact isnt always a gd idea and courts are aware of that too. Internal Relocation: when a parent wishes to move to another part of the UK, what rules apply? By gu… iFLG | News http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/S…ocation-SP.htm The Children's Legal Centre | […]

  5. Dr Rob George says:

    There is very little written on internal relocation by legal academics, but see my two articles on this in the Journal of Social Welfare and Family Law in 2010 and 2011:

    R George, “Re L (Internal Relocation: Shared Residence Order) [2009] EWCA Civ 20, [2009] 1 FLR 1157” (casenote) [2010] JSWFL 71

    R George, “Re F (Children) (Internal Relocation) [2010] EWCA Civ 1428” (casenote) [2011] JSWFL 169

    News about my current relocation research can be found on my blog – https://legalliberal.blogspot.com/2012/03/relocation-disputes-in-family-courts.html – or on my university webpage –

    Rob George.

  6. Marilyn Stowe says:

    Hi Rob
    Thank you very much for your comments. I will have a good read!
    Best wishes
    Marilyn

  7. Joy Spence says:

    Hopefully, clearer guidance will be formed by the parliament or by a clarification in the dicta of a future internal relocation case.

  8. Dr Rob George says:

    Hi Marilyn,

    You might be interested in my new blog post on internal relocation disputes: https://legalliberal.blogspot.com/2012/05/internal-relocation-have-kids-will.html

    Best wishes,
    Rob.

  9. Jenny says:

    What if I would like to move from Birmingham to Nothingham. My new partner got a job offer there and his income is main in our household. Do I still need to go thru relocation process in court?

    • Marilyn Stowe says:

      Dear Jenny
      In principle, as the post makes clear there is no problem. I don’t know what the current situation is but if you are the main career and there aren’t court orders in force then you should be ok provided it is in the best interests of the children.
      If there is a court order and residence is shared then you may have to apply to vary the order.
      Take your own legal advice as I don’t know the facts and can only give you some pointers.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  10. Dawn M says:

    Thank you for this information. Our situation is that we have five boys between us, my two live with myself and my husband, my husbands boys live with their Mother and her partner of one year in their home town which is just 20 minutes away. We have tried to ensure the boys home ( FMH) was not sold as part of the divorce , the financial settlement was finally agreed in court and enabled her to keep the boys in their home. The eldest is 17, then 12 and 10. The eldest said that his mother is looking to move to a different part of the UK and depending on which one is chosen could mean either a 4 or 8 hour round trip for my husband to get the boys. The eldest boy has asked to live with us and we know the middle child was devastated just at the proposition of moving within their home town. This move is purely unrelated to work as bot herself and her partner work locally in stable employment hoovered we know her partner has connections in Both locations. The boys family, schools and friends as well as their father and step brothers are all in and around their home town. We would happily have ten boys live with us but as their mother doesn’t drive it would make life miserable for them and potentially split the boys up. Where do we stand and what can we do, do we act now or wait until she has made the decision and intends to move? Any advice would be greatly received please

    • Marilyn Stowe says:

      Dear Dawn
      I think your husband should write to her formally asking her to clarify her intentions. If she is acting unreasonably your husband can if necessary apply to the court for a specific issue order under S8 Children’s Act to restrain her from moving elsewhere with the children for all the reasons set out above. The 17 year old is old enough to move out if he wishes, it’s unlikely a court would interfere with his decision, the others still need the protection of the court unless it can all be agreed.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  11. John says:

    My daughter had shared residencey for her daughter (6). She wanted to move 150 miles for better life, to be with partner of 2.5 years and for career move. She showed that she could provide job, home and school. Her sisters and brother live in London and her cousin and children also near Y. Court rules she was moving for selfish reasons and reduced contact from four days per week to one weekend per month. now she feels social stigma of a deserting mother and may have to give up career and partner to move back. know I will miss her as I live in X area but I admire ger desire for truly better life and her personal liberty. A daughter shoukld not be separated from her mother

  12. Gemma says:

    I have 3 children ages 1, 3 and 8 who live with me full time. I wish to move 200 miles to the area I grew up in. I think a new start will benefit us all. My ex is likely to try and stop me, can he?

    • Marilyn Stowe says:

      Dear Gemma
      He could try but the court will be unlikely to stop you unless it is clearly and demonstrably not in the children’s’ best interests.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  13. Lukey says:

    “He could try but the court will be unlikely to stop you unless it is clearly and demonstrably not in the children’s’ best interests.”
    ====================================

    Well I hope he does try, 200 miles is a very long way, if the father plays any part in the children’s lives then why on earth would the court be “unlikely to stop you” ?

    This is nuts, surely it is obviously not in the interests of the children to be removed from their father in this way ?

  14. Stephen says:

    I have two children (10 and 6) and am separated from ex.

    I work full time and ex works part time (4 days per week)

    We look after the children fifty fifty (ie two nights per week and alternative weekends). i pay more than CSA recommended amount to ex (even though it means ex has more disposable cash per month than me)

    I go to all the children events (ie parent teacher evenings, pick up and drop off from school)

    My ex has dropped hints to friends that she is thinking of moving 100 miles away to be with new boyfriend. I mentioned this to a solicitor about whether she could do this and was shocked when he said 100 miles was not that far and i would still be able to see at weekends and majority of holidays.

    The reason why i was shocked was i did not think alternate weekends (with all the additonal travel) is not the same as being involved in their day to day stuff (i would no longer be able to make school events, be involved in their after school clubs). Also as they get older would the children not rather be hanging round with friends during day than being 100 miles away from school friends. Also I encourage the children to play sport and would it be fair that they could not join teams that play on a saturday with all their school friends.

    Am i correct that my ex can just up sticks and move and I do not have a say!!

    • Marilyn Stowe says:

      Dear Stephen
      If you share care and you can demonstrate it’s in the best interests of the children to stay where they are then no she can’t and you can apply to the court to stop her. You can make an application to the court for a residence order and an order preventing her taking the children with her.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  15. Luke says:

    Stephen, please let us know how this turns out on this thread if she attempts to relocate, I don’t see how it is reasonably at all possible under the circumstances you describe – but note the use of the word ‘reasonably’ 🙁

    Your solicitor sounds like an idiot.

  16. Emily Taper says:

    I am thinking of moving to Cornwall to be nearer my father (The children’s only grandparent) as since the divorce I have been left with a house I can only afford due to my brother going on the mortgage with me. Also my ex partner has been made redundant so my income from child maintenance will be reduced heavily. My brother is now getting married and needs to be off the mortgage. If I move to Cornwall then I should be able to get a place using my equity and a much smaller mortgage. We currently live in Surrey and the children’s father lives half in surrey and half in yorkshire with his new family. He didn’t ask my permission to move to Yorkshire to have his new family and comes down every other weekend to spend time with the kids in a house he owns in surrey. I am worried he will say no as Yorkshire to Cornwall is too far but he can manage Yorkshire to Surrey. Will I have a chance or not?

    • Luke says:

      ” He didn’t ask my permission to move to Yorkshire to have his new family”
      ==========================================================
      .
      Why would he ask your permission if he doesn’t have residency ? That would be ridiculous.
      .
      As for you moving, it seems to me you have a strong chance, he has moved away and if he is only seeing his kids every other weekend the court has given him limited access rights anyway.
      .
      Maybe you can bring the boy back to Surrey every other weekend to visit his father in the Surrey house – that would be a good compromise wouldn’t it ? That makes everybody happy doesn’t it ?

  17. Nate says:

    I have been with my ex for 10 years, she has been seeing her new boyfriend for two months, now she wants to move from Birmingham to London with our 5 year old daughter to be with him. All of her family reside in the West Midlands , she has very little support in London, she has a close friend down there and a few distant relatives. She is relying on her new partners family for child care. I have been a full time dad for all of my daughters life. Can I stop the move because it’s not in my daughters best interest.

  18. Anon says:

    My ex wife and I separated 2.5 years ago and divorced 18 months ago. She has been awkward in relation to access to my son (who is now 4) from day 1. My ex is from Manchester but moved to Essex 3 years before I met her in 2004. However we moved to Manchester in 2005 so she could complete a study course but she hated being back so deferred back to London after 5 months. Then when we separated in 2012 she decided to take my son to Manchester which I tried to fight at the time but then she begged help to come back 4 months later as she hated being back there. I had to go to court in 2013 for improved access as she blackmailed me every time I was due to have my son so my access at present is every other weekend and 2 weeks holiday per year, although I have requested more. My mother also has my son every Wednesday and has regularly looked after him since he was born. I have now found out that my ex is planning on moving to Manchester again but has not told me, I have found out through a third party. This is not in my sons interest at all. He has all my family in Essex, a good solid structure, he goes to the same nursery he has always gone to (apart from the 6 months in Manchester), my ex only talks to her mother and that is a strained relationship, she is awkward in relation to my current access even with a court order in place, I give her more money than I need to, she refuses to supply clothes for my son, my son cries when I have to drop him home and does not want to talk to her when she calls. Do I have a strong case in preventing her from leaving as it is not in my sons best interests and can I gain full custody?

  19. Julia says:

    Hello,

    My name is Julia and i am separated from 2 of April 2015. I am the main carer and he is visiting her twice per week only for an hour. She is 9 months old now.
    I want to move from Aberdeen to Reading in England because i am on benefits right now i am really struggling with the finances .i had to sell stuff from my house so i have money to live me and the baby. I have nobody here to help me with the baby and i got a job there a very good opportunity which will take us out from this difficulty. I let him know by solicitor that i am intending to move in August. He write back that he doesn’t agree with me moving. I don’t have any restriction order from the court just the letter from his solicitors. Can i move so i don’t lose the job and then apply for the court order to stay where i am? or how i should do ?

    Thank you .
    And please if you can help

  20. Andrew says:

    Julia, if you move to Reading, how often will your baby and her father see each other?

    Is he working? How long would the journey take? Will you pay his fares and the overnight expenses?

    Reflect on this and ask in whose interests you are really acting. I don’t know what the practice is in Scotland but if I were your baby’s father I would be looking to some sort of pre-emptive strike so that you don’t move without permission from the court after hearing both sides first.

    • Iulia Nica says:

      Hello, thank you very much for your message. I will come up to Aberdeen 3-4 times per year. He pays now 190 child maintenance and i will agree for him to pay only 130 per month . If he comes by flight is 50 pounds boths ways. He is working full time carer. Well i am acting in the best of both me and the baby. We can’t survive here i can’t get a job apart from carer and what money i will make i will have to pay childminder. Will be nothing left for the bills or food etc. There they reconised my university and i got a job as a maths teacher. I end up separating because he is adicted to computers gaming and he was abusing us financily and emotionaly. He didn’t want us he didn’t give us any money in the house,he restrict access to his bank accounts, he didn care about the baby to help me with her or anything.The healthcare visitor came and made a reports about all this. I am not running from him i just want a better life for me and the baby.

      • Luke says:

        I hope Marilyn comments on this to give you her view.
        .
        It is a very difficult situation, there is no way he is going to be able to come and see the baby for 100 hundred pounds total a trip (or anything close to that) so personally my natural inclination is to say this move is a bad thing – but £190 a month is not much help at all from him and if it can be clearly demonstrated that you can get a much better job to support the baby in England than you can in Scotland I would hope the court would look sympathetically on your situation.
        .
        The best solution might be for him to get a better job and pay you a bit more but I suppose this is very unlikely to happen.

  21. JC says:

    I really need some advice.
    My ex and I have joint share care.
    He has her 10/ 28 I have 18/28 days.
    There are no court orders but merely parental agreements signed and witnessed.
    We all currently live in London. Where his family live and mine have temporarily moved to for this year only.
    My fiance and I are due to be wed next year and I am pregnant.
    He is from Devon, has a job in Exeter, I am due next June.
    I wish to relocate to be with him, with my daughter.
    Can my ex really stop me from doing this?

    • Luke says:

      No, he can’t stop you doing this if you decide that that is what is most important to you, hopefully he would then get full residency and you would have contact arrangements.

  22. Name Witheldd says:

    My sister has recently separated from the father of their two month old baby. There has been abuse and they planned a new life elsewhere. Since my sister has ended the relationship she has requested that they continue with the move but live separately so they can co-parent their daughter; however he is now refusing, and insists he will get custody of the baby. He is using this threat to intimidate and trying to force her to stay. He feels his grounds for demanding custody are based on it being her decision to end the relationship. Where does she stand, and is she likely to lose a custody case if it goes that far?

  23. Marilyn Stowe says:

    Dear X
    First the father may not have parental responsibility if he did not sign the child’s birth certificate.
    Even if he has, a court would consider only the welfare of the child. Custody does not exist in law it was finally abolished in 1991.
    It is unlikely in the extreme that the court would remove a baby of that age from its mother or even order any kind of staying arrangement to a father particularly given the facts I have edited out of your question.
    I think your sister may need help to cope with this situation and to be removed from a very controlling relationship not least given she is only just a new mum. That she is very anxious is understandable too.
    She should be able to obtain legal aid given what you have told me and I suggest she sees a solicitor local to her who specialises in domestic abuse and can help her through the trauma she is going through.
    I hope this is enough in the meantime to calm her and your concerns.
    Regards
    Marilyn

  24. Jane says:

    Mother wants to relocate to Scotland from England, she says she has taken legal advice and does not need the fathers permission to do this, he has PR.
    The child wishes to stay, would the father apply for a Prohibited Steps Order or a Specific Issue Order? What is the difference between the two orders and the criteria for each?
    Thanks

  25. Richard says:

    Dear Marilyn, firstly thank you for taking the time to provide such important site. I’d be grateful for your advice. My ex-partner agreed a court order in April of this year and as a result I see my sons every week and they stay over alternate weekends. She has now filed an application (5 months later) to move to Tenby, 250 miles away, stating that the boys can still see me every fortnight. Clearly the distance makes it impractical and it is unfair to expect my children to undertake a round journey of 500 miles every fortnight. I will also no longer be able to see then weekly. She is moving for a ‘better life’ (we previously had a holiday home their together) but there is no family, job there. Can I stop her?

    kind regards

  26. Tasha says:

    My children have not seen their father for 18 months. I have told him to go to court if he wants to see them. The relationship was very inconsistent when he did see them, he’d let them down a lot. He also was very abusive to me in front of the kids, shouting, calling me names, tried to teach my 2 year old to say ‘mummy is a sl*g’, and used to think it was hilarious if I had to change plans (including cancelling shifts at work last minute)because he decided last min to not have the kids. It was also an abusive relationship when we were together, but there isn’t really proof of that. To add to the mix he was a drug addict with an addiction to coke. I found out at the same time I was pregnant with my youngest child. My youngest child is disabled, he has called him a spastic and denied he was his. He has had a DNA test confirming that he is his dad. He had very little relationship with him and favours the eldest. Since the contact between them has stoped, the children have come on leaps and bounds. Extremely happy and behaviour is golden, where it was far from desirable before… He says to everyone that he wants to see the kids, however has never made any attempts apart from turning up at my house kicking off. Although there is a CSA case, he does not pay any maintained, he hasn’t in the last 3 years owing around 8k. Hes self employed and they’re starting to take legal steps to make him pay. He has never gone to get a court order, nor tried mediation. I did try mediation but he didn’t show up. He has got PR as he is on the birth certificate for both children. I am moving from the Midlands to Scotland In the summer. It is to go to university and to be with my partner of 2 years, my partner has 2 kids in Scotland that he has relationships with, obviously as my children don’t have a relationship with their dad, it make sense for us to move. My children have a very strong bond with my partner, and he is a good role model. It would’ve been 2 years since my ex has seen the kids, do I need to tell him? Could he stop me? I don’t think he would go to court, he has made no attempts to get a court order to see them, but it does frighten me that her could make me move back, or even stop me from going.

    • Luke says:

      Tasha,
      hopefully Marilyn or Andrew or one of Marilyn’s lawyers will respond on this matter.
      I am not a lawyer but if the case is as you describe then I find it very difficult to believe that any Family Court will stop you moving the children to Scotland in this sad situation.

  27. Ali says:

    Hi

    I have issue. I separated from my wife, however because I am too close to my children and they want to see me every day I rent a house close to my ex that they would be able to come to my house any time they desire. recently my ex mentioned she is planning to move top another city because I am living in this city and take children with her. My life stopped now as I could not be far from my children and my job does not allow me to be able travel every week to another city and see them.

    Please tell me how I would be able to stop her from relocation as there is no chance of negotiation with her.
    Thanks

  28. Jayne says:

    My ex husband and I both have parental responsibility for our daughter. We separated when she was 3. We have always had a 50/50 split of overnight stays as we live close by. I met someone 18 months ago who lives 70 miles from here. We’ve just found out I’m pregnant and after the baby is born we wish to move closer his way for several reasons including living closer to the countryside, more family support on his side, he would be the primary earner and would be supporting us all. My family consists of parents and one sibling over this way and so we feel it is best to be closer to his side. I have always worked my job around my daughters nursery/school hours and have her from 3:10pm every day irrelevant of whose house she’s spending the night at.
    I don’t wish to move without her, and have had a brief conversation with her father about this but he has said he will fight me for her not to move. I have explained aside from obviously being her mum and the thought of leaving her kills me and just isn’t an option, that if he expects me to leave her during the week with him that she would have to go into after school club in the mornings and every school day when she’s never had to before, and go from seeing her Mum every day to only at weekends. I appreciate he’s her dad but he currently only sees her twice during the week from 6pm-8pm when she goes to bed and we alternate the full weekends. I realise she would be moving schools but she’s in year 3 not in high school or doing her year 6 SAT’s. I’ve said I would bring her back every weekend and we’d share the school holidays fairly too. It’s an hours drive usually do not that far.
    I’m just panicking and feeling very anxious now as I don’t know what the future holds and I didn’t work the first 3 years of her life so she’s been my world.

    Any advice please?

  29. Nigel says:

    Hi. I have been divorced from my ex for 5 years. We have a 7 year old daughter. I pretty much walked away from the financials as I wanted her to keep the family home. Now she wants to relocate 120 miles away to her familys home town. I have my daughter every other weekend and one night in the week. If she moves away I’ll lose mid week accesss. I wont be able to do any school related stuff with her, nor pick up from school or drop off to school as I now do. I will affectively lose over 50% of the time I share with my Daughter and be excluded from important processes and decision making for her. Also its a popular coastal town she wants to go to. Traffic will be horrendous so I face the prospect of a large proportion of my weekend with my daughter sat on a motorway in traffic. Can I stop this from happening. She has appied for a job there and got it and plans to move over the holidays.

  30. Steve says:

    My case is bit different here. My other half has been going though stress from quite a while and started drinking alcohol regularly. Even she tried to harm herself few times in past. I have discussed separation with her but she desperately want our 3 years old daughter’s custody. I wanted my daughter to stay with me as I believe she will be safe with me as I am financially and mentally more stable. Also she is more close to me because I have been taking care of her while her mother was struggling with her own issues.

    I am thinking of moving out and take my daughter along with me. As I will be doing this for our daughter’s safety, is it legal? Or taking her away without mother’s permission is an illegal action? I am just thinking about the option I have at the moment.

  31. Jenny says:

    I recently moved to Scotland from England as my eldest son was getting into a lot of trouble and I felt a fresh start was needed for all of us. I informed father of my youngest 8weeks before we moved and secured a house, job and school places for both children. When I came to collect my youngest from his dads the day before our move, he would not let me take him and police could not help as we have equal parental rights. I came here anyway as all arrangements were made, with the condition that I would collectmy son after 3 weeks when it was school holidays. After arriving in Scotland i arranged time off work and contacted ex to arrange picking up my son. He told he me he had made a child arrangements application to court and that I could not see my son until the court had made a decision (on receiving the paperwork, the court date was 8 weeks away). He states that a) he does not want his child living so far away and b) does not want him living with my new partner. As a result, I am returning to England without my partner as I do not want to risk losing my child. I am sure that once I am back in my property I will gain the residence order as exes arguement will no longer stand – I won’t be far away and I won’t be living with my new partner. However, I would like to know if once the residence order is in place, will I have the opportunity to return to Scotland as it is without doubt a better place for my children to grow up or will we have to go through the court process again?

  32. DC says:

    My ex has a new boyfriend in Scotland whereas I live near Manchester and she lives in Oldham. She has made passing comments about moving to scotland with my little girl. I have her every weekend which isn’t enough for me and if she moved to scotland I don’t know how I could afford to see her as I give most of my disposable income in support . My daughter literally counts down the sleeps til she gets to come stay at daddy’s I’m in panic mode that there will be nothing I can do.

  33. Jon says:

    I’ve just found out that I could be going through a similar situation. We split in jan 2016 and I am just about to move to a place in Bedfordshire from lodgings which is the closest compromise I could find to the ex and our 4yo daughter and work. I took a massive hit on the financials and therefore my standard of living to ensure the ex could stay in the family home. I signed away any further claim on the property.

    I’ve now learned that they could be moving to the west of London meaning that my access to our daughter would reduce from 2 evenings in the week and every other weekend to just every other weekend, and now a proportion of the holidays. Due to our daughters age and that I’ve not had my own place, holidays haven’t been a factor until now.

    If this move goes ahead, the ex will have to build up a new support network which is superb at the moment, consisting of her family, a close group of friends, and me. It will mean an obvious upheaval for our daughter being thrown into a new world, with the potential of becoming an older sister. She is such a confident kid now, I am concerned that this might change, and I’ll be too far away to help her. I know how stressful a new baby can be. To add that to the care of a 5 or 6 yo is pretty daunting.

    I am also concerned about the biased religious beliefs she will be exposed to.

    This thread looks to be a good resource, so I’m adding my experience in the off chance someone might have some advice, although there seems to be great advice here already.

  34. Lucy says:

    Hi
    I would be really grateful for some advice. I live with my partner and we have a 1 year old, the relationship has been on and off difficult for some time and over the last 6 months got worse…. I never feel good enough and despite trying hard I feel picked at and anxious as I never know what mood he will be in. I’m coming to the end of a years mat leave and therefore I am the primary carer for our baby, the longest his father has had him on his own is 3 hours though obviously he spends some time with him at weekends and before bed. If we were to separate I would want to move 100 miles to where I’m from and all my family are there are who are very close and supportive. I would never stop any contact and would encourage regular contact. However my partner is adament that he would want 50/50 care and would not agree to me moving away… can I move then apply to court or would it best to apply first? Thank you

  35. Becky says:

    The father of my 3 kids has a residence order in place. I have the kids stay over every other day and alternate weekends and this has been the same for the past 8 years and works well for my children. He is now planning on moving to Cornwall with his partner and wants to take my 12 year old son with him. Does he need my permission as he has a residence order? I am worried that he will just leave without telling me. He is not telling me anything and refuses to have any contact. What are my rights as a Mum with Parental responsibility.

    • Kate Nestor says:

      Thank you so so much for your comment. To start with I would recommend giving our Client Care Team a call on 0330 404 2912 or email at [email protected] and they will be able to help you. Thanks.

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