I receive many letters from people concerned about the future, having had disastrous relationships in the past. Below is a letter from a woman named Jenny who, at only 30, worried that she might never fall in love again. This letter and my reply are included in my new book, ‘Divorce & Splitting Up: Advice from a Top Divorce Lawyer’.
I am 30 and I don’t know if I can ever fall in love again. My last relationship ended disastrously, and I found it difficult to cope. I am determined that what happened will never be repeated. If I am going to be alone for the rest of my life, so be it. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
You are so young! You are bound to feel down. I think it is wrong to concentrate on whether you will or won’t have a relationship. Relax! There’s so much going on in the world. Look for other things in life and forget about a new relationship until you are ready. Although you think right now it won’t, experience suggests otherwise. Many of my clients bump into me years later, and tell me how they doubted the same advice I gave to them, but realised I was right after all! In the meantime, exercise. Think about improving your mind and body. Stretch yourself in areas that are new and exciting.
Finally, a thought. What have you taken away from your last relationship? Why didn’t it work? If you know the answers, you can move forward with confidence.