In the first of new video series, Stowe Family Law Senior Partner outlines the legal realities of divorce and adultery.
There can be few more painful ways for a marriage to end than adultery. It is the most direct and personal violation of the marriage vows it is possible to imagine and so it is no wonder that, when it does occur, it seems desperately important to the couple involved.
The party responsible may feel racked by guilt – or not as the case may be! Meanwhile, the wronged spouse may get caught up in the idea that they have to go to great lengths to prove to the Judge that adultery took place, or they may be convinced that the divorce courts will take the adultery into account and punish their partner accordingly. They may be desperate to name the other person involved, so as to blame them for the breakdown of the marriage. But none of this is necessary or welcomed by the courts.
The current ethos is that laying blame will only fan the flames, and it is pointless looking back. The couple will have differing views as to why their marriage broke down and adultery may only be a symptom of problems in a marriage that existed long before a third person arrived on the scene.
As hard as some may find this to accept, the divorce process is not based on revenge nor upon appeasing the pain and hurt, which can certainly be devastating and take a long time to heal. It is simply the process required to end the marriage and tie up loose ends if the couple can’t do it between themselves.
Photo by bored-now under a Creative Commons licence