Dating after divorce can be brutal, particularly if your marriage / long relationship lasted for a couple of decades. If this is the case, the last time you dated, back in 1999, there was no dating apps, no ghosting and certainly no bread crumbing.
Instead, it was a world of speed dating, matchmaking and a ‘little black book’. And, the most popular dating term was the straight forward “He’s Just Not That into You” popularised in an episode of ‘Sex in the City’ in the ‘00s.
So, if you find yourself “back out there again” (something that strikes fear in anyone at any age) after a relationship breakdown, we’ve rounded up some of the latest dating terms you need to know to survive.
First up, dating apps. According to Glamour Magazine, the best dating apps in 2019 are Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, Wingman, Pickable, Badoo and Coffee Meet Bagel. The article also declares “one app is SO 2018” so you can find out more and select your choices of digital dating here.
Next stop, dating terms. Well, there are plenty out there, here are our favourite (?) five.
Things have ended or, maybe they haven’t? It was not clear. Either way, they have continued to like all your social posts, spy on your Instagram stories etc to make sure you know that they are still there. Not quite in your life but not entirely removed.
Bread crumbing basically means stringing someone along. Think, suggesting a date but never with any actual plans or commenting on your latest Insta but screening your calls. To be blunt, they are not forgetful. This is tactical. They are not interested in you but having you around boosts their ego.
If your first experience of zombies was the film ‘24 days later’ with the now Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders in lead, zombies are not the first thing that pops to mind when dating. Today, however, it is a sort of non-committed ghosting. So just as you realise you may have ghosted, they return from the dead (like a zombie) and get back in touch.
You have dated for months and things seem to be going well but you realise that you have never been introduced to anyone: family, friends, colleagues. In fact, you only see each other when the ‘pocket-er’ wants to or has nothing else planned. It’s like they have just stuffed you in their pocket to keep you hidden.
You are dating someone but get the feeling they are dating others. They want to see you, but it is clear that you are their plan B or C whilst they keep looking for a better option. They do not want to burn the relationship bridge, just yet.
Dating after divorce
Wow, welcome to the complicated and slightly terrifying modern world of dating. It certainly is a minefield and its digitalisation brings both benefits and challenges.
So, if you are getting ready to date again after divorce, take your time, go with your instinct and remember sometimes, they are just not that into you and that’s fine.
Good luck out there.
Disclaimer: I left ghosting out of the list as it has been around for a while, even I at 43 years old have heard of it before.