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Tips for healing after divorce

Rebuilding your life after a divorce is undeniably challenging and healing after divorce can take time. 

Deconstructing large parts of your life and rebuilding them again is certainly emotionally draining, not to mention overwhelming.

However, within the inevitable change lies valuable perspective and an opportunity for healing that can help fuel a new and fulfilling life after divorce.

Allow yourself to grieve

With divorce or separation, comes loss. But unlike other forms of loss, there is no blueprint for finding closure after divorce, and no socially agreed way to grieve for the end of your relationship.

Divorce grief is individual and you must allow yourself to feel your emotions. This self-exploration can be painful as you confront past experiences and relationships. But while grief can be all-consuming at first, gradually you’ll see progress and as it subsides you’ll be able to devote more energy to rebuilding your life.

Practice self-awareness

Recognising the need for change and focusing on what you want and need from your future is a vital step in healing after divorce.

Be honest with yourself. Self-awareness helps you to recognise your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. For example, you might begin to notice unhealthy habits you’ve formed, or the way certain people of scenarios make you feel.

With improved self-awareness, you will understand your needs far better so you can confidently make decisions that boost your well-being and create the right conditions for positive change.

Take control

Once you are aware of what needs to change, taking responsibility for making that change happen is important.

It might help to establish healthy boundaries that protect your energy reserves and allow you to focus on what you need.

Instead of allowing others to influence your progress, acknowledge that only you hold the power to move forward. By accepting responsibility, you empower yourself to take control of your life.

Self-love

Central to your divorce healing journey is practicing self-love. But it can be hard to put yourself first, especially if your self-esteem has been knocked.

Ask yourself how you’d treat a friend going through divorce. Are you putting the same effort and compassion into your own recovery?

Even mini acts of self-care can make a difference when life has been difficult. Start with ensuring that you eat and sleep well and moving outside as much as you can, you’ll feel the benefit.

Treat yourself with kindness and take the time to do things that promote good health, happiness, and growth.

Embracing patience

Throughout this journey, it’s crucial to be patient and forgiving with yourself. Emotional healing is not a linear process, and you may find yourself moving back and forth as you progress. This is normal so don’t be hard on yourself if your divorce recovery doesn’t look like you thought it would.

Be careful who you listen to

A divorce team of trusted loved ones and professionals is incredibly valuable during divorce. However, remember you don’t need the validation or acceptance of others to move forward. They don’t need to understand your decisions for them to be right for you.

A fresh outlook

Taking the time to focus on your divorce healing journey will help you become stronger, more resilient, and more confident. It has the potential to lead you to a life where you can celebrate your authentic self and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead, so you can feel happy by yourself, in yourself, for yourself and no one else.

Related links

Book your free webinar place: Stowe talks – Finding the unexpected joy of heartbreak

Overcoming loneliness after divorce

How to help someone going through divorce

The blog team at Stowe is a group of writers based across our family law offices who share their advice on the wellbeing and emotional aspects of divorce or separation from personal experience. As well as pieces from our family law solicitors, guest contributors also regularly contribute to share their knowledge.

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As the UK's largest family law firm we understand that every case is personal.

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