Do We Have To Get Divorced?
Nobody should see divorce as their first option. Such a drastic change can cause all sorts of problems if it is not handled correctly, especially for children. So what can you do before you reach this stage?
Once some variation of the phrase “I want a divorce” has been uttered by a spouse, many assume that moment marks the end of the marriage. A lot of the advice you will find online is written to assist people who are certain their relationship has been damaged beyond repair.
But human emotions are rarely so black and white. In many cases one spouse will be leaning much more towards a divorce than the other. In fact, a great number of partners who are confronted with this decision do not want their marriage to end at all. Sometimes, these situations are salvageable so do not be so quick to give up just yet.
Nobody should get married intending to divorce. Although the phrase “till death do us part” does not have the power it once did, those who say it almost always mean it at the time. So don’t rush to the nearest divorce lawyer right away, unless you feel you need to protect yourself financially while you make up your mind. Divorce is a huge decision so it should not be made hastily.
Counsellors & Therapy
There are all kinds of people you can turn to for support including professionally trained counsellors and therapists. It might not be too late to rescue your relationship.
You can find counselling services in your area through the NHS: http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Relationship%20counselling/LocationSearch/400
There are also a variety of other independent professionals such as Relate and others.
Another thing to consider is the impact this monumental shift in your life will have on your children if you have them. While some divorces can be amicable with very few arguments, many are not so fortunate. Children are resilient and can handle change, so splitting up is not necessarily damaging by itself but regular arguments that become loud and heated can lead to problems for them both in the short term and once they enter adulthood.
Of course, sometimes a marriage is quite simply over. Perhaps the feelings you once had for each other have completely evaporated. Or maybe the relationship has become abusive. It could be that an infidelity has been so hurtful you know there is no chance of moving past it. In those scenarios, and ones like them, then it is time to move forward with divorce plans.
Going through the courts to get a divorce can be an exhausting, damaging process for everyone involved, especially any children, but there are other ways to get the result you want. One of those is mediation, where couples can sit down with a third party and come to an agreement about disputes involving children, finances or other legal matters.
Stowe Family Law has trained mediators who have years of experience. For more information on the firm’s mediation services, click here.
Another approach is arbitration. Similar to mediation, this helps divorcing couples make legally binding financial agreements out of court. If both spouses participate, a qualified arbitrator will take all of a couple’s circumstances into consideration before they reach their decision, called an award.
Visit Stowe Family Law’s arbitration page for more information.
Get in touch today to discuss your family, divorce or separation issues.