Expert advice from Marilyn Stowe, author of Divorce & Splitting Up: Advice From A Top Divorce Lawyer
I am not a therapist, but I do spend my days working with couples in conflict. I have learned that more often than not, the ultimate reason for the breakdown of a relationship is a symptom of that breakdown, rather than a cause. So an affair that brings about a split may not be the initial cause of that split: the relationship may, to all intents and purposes, have broken down beforehand.
In human and emotional terms, splits can be divided up into three categories: amicable, acrimonious and agonising. The first, in which you both agree that your relationship has run its course, is probably the easiest. The second, in which one partner has treated the other so badly that reconciliation is simply not worthy of consideration, can be the nastiest but is still relatively clean-cut.
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Marilyn’s book is available in paperback and for Kindle here