Relationship break-ups: a bad thing? In Esquire

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September 19, 2016

Senior Partner Marilyn Stowe was featured in the online version of Esquire Magazine over the weekend to explain why relationship break-ups don’t have to be a bad thing.

As one of the country’s most recognisable divorce lawyers, Esquire asked Marilyn to describe her experiences and discuss the “relationship wisdom she’s gleaned from being on the firing line of love”.

She suggested that, as a family lawyer, it can sometimes be quite clear when one of the spouses is involved in a relationship outside of the marriage, even if their spouse doesn’t know.

Marilyn also noted the importance of having more to a relationship than simply a physical aspect. This can begin to fade over time as “routine kicks in” so it is a good idea to have something else that can replace it.

She highlighted social media as a possible dangerous tool and explained that many affairs are “based on the thrill of secrecy”, however, this thrill soon wears off once the affair is discovered.

One of the places where Marilyn has seen a lot of affairs begin is in the gym. She advised that if a spouse starts taking more of an interest in their appearance for their workout.

She said:

                “That many good bodies on display is a recipe for disaster”

Marilyn also highlighted the relationships of cohabiting couples but explained that these are not the same as being married. A non-married couple can walk away from one another and move on, whereas for a married couple it is not as straightforward.

It is impossible to control who you are attracted to and Marilyn suggested that you will be attracted to other people but what you can control is the way in which you respond to it.

Looking back at one of her older cases, she described a husband who unknowingly sent every text message intended for his mistress to his wife. This happened because the married couple’s mobile devices were synchronised; something which Marilyn explained catches a lot of spouses out.

Having one another’s passwords and access to personal accounts isn’t always a good thing and she advised that people are entitled to their privacy.

On the other hand, Marilyn did advise readers that relationship break-ups are not necessarily a negative thing. They can sometimes be an escape route from an unhealthy relationship.

Marilyn closed the interview by explaining that being a family lawyer for over 30 years hasn’t made her a cynical person. Everyone is human and humans do have weaknesses and some people are lucky enough to have a relationship worth fighting for.

Read the full article here.

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