One of the most important – and often overlooked – parts of the divorce journey is how you leave. So many people reach a point where they know, deep down, that the marriage is over. But what comes next feels overwhelming. Do you wait? Do you say something straight away? What if you’re not ready for the fallout? Partner Divorce Coach, Cath Cooke shares her advice on the importance of planning your exit and why how you leave matters as much as when.
You deserve to feel safe and clear-headed.
Leaving a marriage, especially one with children or a long history, is never simple. It’s emotional, often messy, and can be charged with fear and guilt. That’s why having a plan helps. It gives you clarity. It gives you space to think. And it gives you time to prepare – so when the moment comes to have that conversation, you’re not reacting from panic or pain. You’re responding from a place of calm, confidence, and self-respect.
It’s not just about you – it’s about your children too.
If you’re a parent, you’re not just planning for yourself—you’re also creating a more stable transition for your children. How you leave can set the tone for everything that follows: the co-parenting relationship, their sense of security, and even how they view conflict and communication in the future. A well-thought-out exit puts their needs first without sacrificing your own well-being.
Avoiding conflict later starts with clarity now.
When you’ve planned your exit, you’re less likely to be thrown off course by your ex’s reaction. You’ll have anticipated their responses, considered what you want to say, and prepared your boundaries. This can reduce conflict, stop things from escalating, and help you stay grounded – even when the emotions run high.
It can save you time, money, and emotional energy
Without a plan, people often rush into important decisions too soon, instruct solicitors before they’re emotionally ready, or make decisions they later regret. With support, you can understand what you want first – so that speaking to professionals is purposeful and focused.
You don’t have to do this alone
If you’re unsure where to start, that’s exactly where coaching comes in. I help people plan their exit in a way that feels safe, calm, and considered – and that honours who they are. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But there is a better way to leave – one that sets you up for healing, not more hurt.
Get in touch
If you’re starting to ask, “Is it time to go?” – let’s talk. You don’t have to make any decisions today. But having a plan means you’ll know what to do when you’re ready. And that’s where your power begins.
You can either book a free strategy call with me here, download my free guide on the right way to leave a marriage, or visit www.rightstepcoaching.co.uk
Divorce coaching at Stowe
Cath is one of the partner divorce coaches at Stowe Family Law – you can find out more about divorce coaching at Stowe here.
