Common concerns parents raise include feeling worried about missing important moments with their children, uncertainty about how special occasions fit within existing parenting schedules, anxiety about discussing plans with a former partner, and wanting to protect children from conflict or tension.
Children may also experience mixed emotions – they may feel excited about celebrating a parent while also feeling concerned about upsetting the other. That’s why a cooperative and sensitive approach from both parents can make a significant difference. In this blog, our divorce expert, Kiren Kaur, shares ways to keep the focus on the children around this time.
How can you keep the focus on the children?
When making arrangements for occasions such as Mother’s Day, it can help to focus on one simple question: what arrangement will best support the child’s wellbeing?
Children generally benefit from:
- Seeing their parents cooperate respectfully
- Feeling free to celebrate each parent without guilt
- Maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents
Small gestures of cooperation can help children feel secure and reduce any pressure they might feel about choosing between parents.
How can you plan ahead?
One of the most effective ways to reduce the worry and stress around special occasions such as Mother’s Day is to plan ahead.
Where possible, parents may wish to:
- Discuss upcoming events well in advance
- Consider how the day fits within existing parenting arrangements
- Be open to some flexibility where it benefits the children
For example, if Mother’s Day falls on a weekend when the children would normally be with the other parent, many families agree to adjust arrangements slightly so the children can spend part of the day celebrating their mother and substitute the arrangement so the other parent does not miss out entirely.
Every family is different, and what works well for one family may look different for another. Some families may agree from the outset that their children will spend time with their mother each year, regardless of how the contact arrangements fall, and vice versa for Father’s Day.
How can you encourage children to celebrate both parents?
Children often want to celebrate and appreciate both of their parents. Supporting this can help children feel emotionally secure.
For example, a parent might:
- Help children prepare a card or buy a gift for their mother
- Encourage a phone or video call if the children are not with her on the day
- Be positive and supportive about the celebration
- Allow their children to speak about their mother
These small acts can send a powerful message to children that it is safe and acceptable to love both parents and express how they feel, on special occasions if they are unable to spend that day with their mother or in the lead up to this day if the children are with the other parent.
Parents can help by reassuring children that it is okay to enjoy the day, avoiding negative comments about the other parent, maintaining familiar traditions where possible, and listening to children’s feelings and concerns. Children benefit greatly when parents are able to create a stable and supportive environment, even after a relationship has ended.
What do you do when disagreements arise?
While many parents may be able to discuss and cooperate successfully between themselves, there are occasions where disagreements can sometimes arise about parenting arrangements that may include special occasions such as Mother’s Day.
If discussions become difficult, there are several options available which are outlined in brief below:
Mediation
Child focused family mediation allows parents to discuss arrangements with the assistance of an independent mediator. Mediation can often help parents find practical solutions while keeping the focus on the children. You also have the option of having your children present so that they can express their wishes and feelings, to assist parents in being able to consider what is in their best interests and how to move forward.
Negotiations through solicitors
A family solicitor can provide advice on your legal position, help negotiate arrangements, and support constructive communication between parents.
Discover more about our out-of-court divorce solutions.
Court applications
If an agreement cannot be reached and the issue significantly affects the child’s welfare, it may be possible to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. The court will always prioritise the child’s best interests when making decisions.
Court proceedings are generally considered a last resort, and wherever possible the law encourages parents to resolve matters cooperatively.
Moving forward as co-parents
Although separation can change the structure of a family, it does not change the importance of the relationship between a parent and their child.
With thoughtful communication, flexibility, and a shared focus on the children, many separated parents are able to create new traditions that still make occasions like Mother’s Day meaningful and positive.
Our experienced family lawyers at Stowe Family Law can help by:
- Providing clear guidance on child arrangements and the law in England and Wales
- Assisting with negotiations or mediation referrals
- Drafting formal agreements where appropriate
- Supporting applications to the court where necessary
- Helping parents maintain a child-focused approach during difficult discussions
The aim is not simply to resolve legal issues, but to help families establish arrangements that support children’s long-term wellbeing. If you are navigating co-parenting arrangements following separation and would like advice about your options, speaking to an experienced family law solicitor can provide clarity and reassurance during what can often be a challenging time.
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