Divorce is one of the biggest life transitions most people will ever face, yet many enter the process feeling overwhelmed, emotional and unsure where to begin. At a recent Stowe Talks webinar, Divorce and Separation Coach Chloe Oudiz, founder of Divorce Differently, shared practical guidance on how early preparation can make a significant difference to both the experience and outcome of divorce.
Rather than viewing divorce as something that simply happens to you, Chloe encourages people to see it as a process that can be managed with the right mindset, information and support. In this blog, we explore the four key pillars she identified for setting yourself up for success from the very start.
You can read the full blog below, or watch the webinar here.
Plan carefully before you begin
One of the most common mistakes people make is rushing into divorce discussions or legal processes without a clear plan. While it may feel counter-intuitive during an emotional time, planning brings clarity and control.
Chloe recommends taking time to think about:
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What a “successful” outcome looks like for you
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Your priorities and non-negotiables
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Your best and worst possible outcomes if matters were decided by a court
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Likely obstacles or pressure points in the process
Having a plan does not mean everything will unfold exactly as expected. However, it provides a reference point that helps you stay focused on your long-term goals, rather than reacting to events as they arise.
Prepare emotionally, not just practically
Divorce conversations often trigger a stress response that makes it difficult to think clearly or make rational decisions. When emotions take over, people can agree to arrangements they later regret or find unsustainable.
Emotional preparation involves:
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Understanding your own conflict style
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Recognising recurring relationship dynamics
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Accepting what you can and cannot control
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Letting go of the idea that divorce delivers emotional or moral “justice”
Chloe emphasises that both parties need to be emotionally ready before meaningful negotiations can take place. Sustainable agreements are far more likely when decisions are made calmly and with full understanding.
Get the right information early
Accurate, reliable information is essential to making good decisions during divorce. Misunderstandings about the law, process or likely outcomes often lead to unnecessary conflict and unrealistic expectations.
Key areas to understand include:
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How the divorce process works in practice
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What the law says about finances, pensions and children
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The range of non-court dispute resolution options available
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The realistic timeframes and costs involved
While online research and social media can be helpful starting points, Chloe stresses that professional advice is the most reliable source of information – particularly as every case is different.
Build the right support network
Divorce is not just a legal process; it impacts every area of life. Relying on one person for all forms of support can be overwhelming and unrealistic.
A strong support network may include:
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A solicitor for legal advice
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A financial adviser for long-term planning
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A therapist or coach for emotional support
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Trusted friends or family for day-to-day encouragement
Being clear about the role each person plays (and setting boundaries where needed) helps prevent burnout and ensures you receive the right support at the right time.
A final thought: don’t rush…
The key message from Chloe’s talk was simple but powerful: divorce does not have to be chaotic. Taking time to plan, prepare emotionally, gather information and build the right team can dramatically change both the experience and the outcome. Divorce marks the end of one chapter, but with the right preparation, it can also be the foundation for a more secure and positive future.
About the author
Chloe is a Certified Divorce Coach and conflict resolution specialist. She works with her clients to support them through the ups and downs of divorce, helping them to part ways more peacefully in order to preserve their own and their children’s wellbeing. Chloe offers a free discovery call for new clients, so don’t hesitate to get in touch if you want to discuss your specific situation and challenges.
Useful links
Life, Love & The Law Podcast: The first steps to divorce
Where to start in divorce: the very first steps
Our expert lawyers share 7 tips to an amicable divorce
Legal Q&A: “What do I need to know when I start divorce proceedings?”
