What is an amicable divorce in the UK?
An amicable divorce simply means working with your ex-spouse to have a peaceful and collaborative separation. The spouses agree to end the marriage with no blame or conflict. Of course, you don’t have to then go on to be the best of friends, but you are ready to communicate both honestly and respectfully to reach a fair settlement.
The introduction of the no-fault divorce in 2022 under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act has made a peaceful separation much more achievable. Partners can now leave blame in the past and even submit a joint divorce application together.
We understand that amicable and divorce don’t often go together, but that doesn’t mean they can’t. By working together, rather than against each other, you are more likely to divorce more quickly, cheaply, and effectively.
How to divorce amicably: 5 steps to follow
1) Don’t point blame
Emotions certainly run high during separation, but pointing the blame never leads to anything positive, especially when children are involved. It simply makes achieving an amicable divorce that much harder.
It may make you feel better in the short term to blame your ex for the divorce, but more often than not, relationships break down because of the buildup of lots of smaller issues over time. Accepting that you don’t always need one person to be ‘guilty’ can mean that any upcoming negotiations are far more measured, and you can focus on building a positive future.
2) Consider alternative dispute resolution
If you and your ex-spouse decide you want to settle your divorce outside of court, there are options that we can help with.
Here at Stowe Family Law, we offer the following out-of-court resolution methods:
- Negotiation: Either privately or through solicitor correspondence to reach an agreement and settlement that you are both happy with.
- Mediation: A third-party, trained mediator helps you and your ex-partner talk amicably and find common ground.
- Collaborative divorce: All negotiations take place in constructive, joint face-to-face meetings with solicitors and other professionals should you wish, such as a financial adviser.
- Divorce arbitration: An independent arbitrator is chosen, and they make fair, binding decisions on your case without the delays of court.
Each of these options is far more private, calmer, and quicker than court-based dispute. On top of that, they all prioritise communication that helps you both cooperate better to find the right solution to your situation.
Not sure which would be right for your needs? We will listen to your needs and recommend the best option. Reach out to our experts to find out more.
3) Financial agreement
Even if your divorce is amicable, finances are always a tricky subject. Before trying to negotiate a settlement, it is best to exchange full and frank disclosure within your settlement, even if you trust each other to be honest about the assets. Within disclosure, you should include:
- Any assets, like property
- Pensions
- Savings
- Debt
This is usually achieved by completing the Form E and Form D81. Once this is all completed, it’s important to draft a consent order which should be accompanied by your Form D81 and have it approved by the Courts.
4) Parenting plan
The end of a marriage is even more intense when children are involved. When trying to divorce amicably with kids, drafting a parenting plan is strongly recommended.
A written parenting plan provides clarity over various responsibilities and outlines where the children will live, how holiday time will be shared, and how both parents will contribute to their financial upbringing. These expectations ensure there is a reduction in misunderstandings, make life easier for the whole family, and peace is maintained despite all the changes.
5) Supportive network
As you can see, even though you may be divorcing amicably, that doesn’t necessarily make separation easier. This is still an incredibly stressful and overwhelming time, so it’s essential that you have a support system that you can rely on.
Whether that’s to help you with the kids or pet, be a shoulder to cry on, or have a laugh to take your mind off things, having loved ones you can rely on is invaluable.
What one of our solicitors says about how to divorce amicably
Sophie Croft, an Associate at our Newcastle family law office, says:
“Separating is a big life change for the entire family. Routines are disrupted, uncomfortable chats are needed, and frictions can naturally arise. However, we find that couples who can communicate effectively with one another have more amicable separations, reach a conclusion quicker (which in turn is more cost-effective) and go on to have a working relationship moving forward.
“This is particularly necessary where children are involved. Children’s lives change drastically when parents separate, and most of the time involves them having to get used to life in two separate homes. Children can easily get caught up in the middle of parental conflict, which they should be shielded from. Children want their parents to be happy and to get along, and parents should be mindful of this when they are feeling frustrated and may expose their children to conflict.
“Methods such as mediation and using parenting applications to communicate are great ways for separating couples to learn how to communicate effectively, plan together and work through their differences in a controlled and measured way.
“My advice is, be the bigger person, have your children’s interests at the forefront of your mind and in the long run, this mindset will pay off.”
Does a prenuptial agreement help to keep a divorce amicable?
Yes, a prenuptial agreement can lead to a more amicable divorce. Although it seems an unromantic way to start your marriage, it ensures that you are both aligned on finances and asset division, rather than going through difficult negotiations during the breakdown of your relationship.
Solicitor’s tip: A prenup is not currently automatically binding, and a court must be shown legitimate demonstrations of balance before considering upholding it. Even if it is upheld, fairness will still be the court’s priority.
How long does an amicable divorce take?
Even in an amicable, no-conflict scenario, a divorce in England and Wales takes a minimum of 6 to 7 months to be legally finalised.
This is due to the strict timeframe under the no-fault divorce system, which was introduced in 2022. There are now multiple mandatory waiting periods that cannot be bypassed or sped up, regardless of how well you and your spouse get along. For example, there is the mandatory 20-week reflection period and the 6-week and 1-day waiting period between the conditional and final order.
Is an amicable divorce cheaper?
An amicable divorce doesn’t necessarily make it cheaper, but the less time it takes to get divorced, and the less involved the court has to be, the cheaper it will be. There will always be the upfront cost of submitting a divorce application, which is £612, either paid by the sole applicant or split if you are joint applicants.
The cost of divorce is always dependent on the complexity of your situation. If you need court intervention in your divorce, it will likely be more expensive. There will also be solicitor’s fees, and should your case have additional complications, for example, difficulties reaching a financial settlement or needing the court to enforce a Child Arrangements Order, costs can add up.
If you choose to divorce outside of court, that will make your divorce cheaper. However, there are risks to a DIY divorce – like missing legal steps or not legally binding your settlement.
What are the benefits of an amicable divorce?
There are a number of benefits to choosing to divorce amicably – not just for you, but for the whole family.
- Cost-effective: Typically, legal fees and court costs are cheaper when both parties cooperate during the divorce process.
- Time saving: The reduction in one spouse dragging out the divorce usually means that you get divorced quicker. However, it is worth noting that every UK divorce must adhere to the timeline of the 20-week cooling-off period, and the 6 weeks before you can apply for a final order after your conditional order is granted.
- Reduced stress: By working together, both parties often find the divorce process less stressful due to the lack of disagreements.
- Mutual agreement over decisions: Having an amicable divorce means you and your ex-partner are more likely to reach a common agreement over decisions.
- Maintained relationships: You may not want to become friends with your ex-spouse, however, maintaining a civil relationship will be beneficial for future decisions and any children you are co-parenting.
- Smoother transition for kids: It’s no secret that children find divorce difficult too but having an amicable relationship with your ex may make things easier for your children as they see you being civil with each other, rather than fighting.
- Increased privacy: If you or the other party are deeply private people, choosing to have an amicable divorce ensures your disputes remain out of court, retaining confidentiality.
If you’re hoping to divorce amicably, our experts are here to help. We’ve been helping couples across the UK end their marriages peacefully for more than 50 years. Reach out to our team today to find out more.
Keep reading…
How to value a business for divorce purposes
What is the divorce process in the UK?
How are assets split in a divorce?
Originally written January 2025
