Can my ex take my child out of the country?
In normal circumstances, yes, your ex can take your child out of the country on holiday. However, they will need your permission, and, depending on the arrangements you have made for your children and whether these have been made legally binding in a child arrangements order, they may need to seek permission from the court.
If you and your ex have an informal arrangement for your child, for example verbal agreements or a parenting plan, they will need to seek your permission before they take the child on holiday abroad. It’s best for you to give this in writing so they can present it as evidence at border control should they be asked (which can happen particularly where surnames might be different) and to prevent any future disputes.
Unless there is a valid reason for you to refuse permission, for example the holiday is lasting over 28 days, or you have genuine safeguarding concerns, you should give permission. Otherwise, your ex can apply to the court for permission.
Usually, parents should provide certain information to the other parent. This should include:
- Flight or other travel details
- Where you are staying, and if you are changing locations at any point, when and where to
- Contact details in case of emergency
If you and your ex have a legally binding child arrangements order in place, both you and your ex are bound by the terms in that court order. For example, if the order states that holidays cannot last longer than two weeks at a time, neither parent can book a holiday longer than that without asking the court’s permission or seeking the written agreement from the other parent to deviate from the terms of the court order.
If the child arrangements order says that the child lives with one parent, that parent can take the child abroad without permission for up to 28 days. However, it is still courteous to let the other parent know of your intentions.
Why do I need permission from my ex to travel abroad with our children?
It is incredibly important to obtain permission to take children abroad where you and your ex have shared parental responsibility. Failing to do so could lead to criminal charges for child abduction.
What if my ex refuses to give permission for me to take my child on holiday?
If your ex-partner has parental responsibility and won’t let you take your child on holiday – and you do not have an order confirming the child lives with only you – there are a few things you can do.
You can go to mediation, which is a form of non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) which can help you and your ex reach an agreement, with the support of an independent, third-party mediator. You can also speak to a family solicitor who can negotiate with your ex, and their solicitor if they have one, on your behalf.
If your ex continues to refuse permission, you’ll need to make an application to court to seek a specific issue order to obtain the courts permission to take your child on holiday. The court will look at whether the holiday is in the best interests of the child, and what arrangements you will make around it. For example, if the holiday is planned over time where your ex would usually have their time with the child, will alternative arrangements be made so this time is made up?
In most cases, the court is likely to grant permission, provided there are no concerns about a child not being returned or concerns about the safety in a particular country. This can take a while, so it’s best to be organised as far in advance as possible.
Rachel Fisher, Team Leader Partner in our Bristol family law office, explains:
“The court’s primary concern is always the welfare of the child when parents separate. They work from the factors included in the Welfare Checklist when making decisions about children’s futures. This includes things like the emotional, physical and educational needs of the child, how well each parent can meet the child’s needs, and, depending on the child’s age and understanding, their wishes and feelings.
“When it comes to holidays abroad, children will usually want them to go ahead, and it is generally considered in their best interests to enjoy time with their parents individually after separation and build bonds and memories. The court recognises this, but will also step in if there are concerns.”
Can I take my child on holiday within the UK?
Many people ask whether they can take their child on holiday within the UK without the permission of their ex. You absolutely can take your child on holiday within England and Wales and you do not need permission from the other parent to do this.
However, it’s important to remember that the UK is made up of several different legal systems. England and Wales are the same jurisdiction, but Scotland and Northern Ireland are separate jurisdictions. This means that taking your child on holiday within England and Wales is legally allowed without the permission of your ex, but you will need permission to take them to Scotland or Northern Ireland.
Solicitors tip: It’s always best practice to seek permission from the other parent, whether or not you legally have to. This helps to keep tensions down, and means more trust between you as co-parents. In cases where this isn’t possible, NCDR methods can help parents reach agreements that are in the best interests of their children.
If you’re going abroad for the first time as a solo parent, understanding what you need to take and whether you need the other parent’s permission are important to ensuring the planning and the holiday go as smoothly as possible. You can get in touch with our child arrangement solicitors who can help guide you.
Keep reading
- Keeping children at the centre – not the middle – of divorce and separation
- What are separated parents’ holiday rights?
- How to successfully co-parent
Originally written January 2025
I have a shared “lives with” order. Do I still need to get permission from the other parent?