Does Jewish law permit divorce?
Yes, Jewish law has allowed divorce for thousands of years, viewing it as a sad but sometimes necessary step. Unlike some faith traditions, Judaism does not see divorce as forbidden.
This understanding is rooted in the Torah, which recognises that some marriages reach a natural end. Rather than condemning those who separate, Jewish tradition has long made space for divorce as part of life.
One thing to understand early on is this: A civil divorce and a religious divorce are two separate things, and you may need both before you are fully free to remarry within the faith.
What is a Get in Jewish divorce?
In many Orthodox communities, the Get is a handwritten religious divorce document, traditionally prepared by a trained scribe and given by the husband to the wife. It’s the best-known form of Jewish divorce, but it isn’t the only approach across Jewish life.
In Liberal, Reform and Progressive Judaism, the position may be different. Some communities may treat the civil divorce as enough to show the marriage has ended, while others may recognise the religious divorce without following the same formal steps used in Orthodox practice.
That’s why it helps not to assume that one single process applies in every case. The religious steps can vary depending on your tradition, your community and the rabbinical authority involved, so it’s always worth taking advice on what applies to you.
Key features of the Get include:
- It must be given freely: Both parties should agree to the process for it to go smoothly
- It is specific to the couple: Each Get is written for the individual husband and wife involved
- It is delivered in person or by an appointed agent: The handover is witnessed and formalised
Once received, the Get frees both people to remarry within the Jewish faith.
Why does a Get matter before entering a new relationship?
In Orthodox Jewish law, a woman who enters a new relationship without first receiving a Get may still be regarded as married. That can mean the new relationship is treated as adulterous in religious terms, even if the civil divorce has already been finalised.
The consequences can reach beyond the couple themselves. In some circumstances, children born from that later relationship may face restrictions on whom they can marry within the faith in future.
This is one reason why it’s so important to deal with the religious and civil sides of divorce together, rather than assuming that a civil divorce alone brings everything to an end.
How to get a Jewish divorce: The step-by-step process
If you’re wondering how to get a Jewish divorce, the Get process is usually more straightforward than it first appears. There’s no fixed timeline, though, and the length of a divorce can vary from one couple to the next. When both parties cooperate and the paperwork is simple, the Get itself can often be arranged fairly quickly.
Other factors can extend the timeline, including:
- How busy your local Beth Din is
- How readily both spouses engage with the process
- How the religious steps are coordinated alongside your civil divorce
Many couples find it helps to start the Get while the civil divorce is already underway, so the two move in step rather than one holding up the other.
1) Contact your Beth Din
Reach out to your local rabbinical court to begin proceedings and ask any questions you have.
2) Submit the application
Both husband and wife provide their details and confirm their intention to divorce.
3) The Get is written
A trained scribe prepares the document under the court’s supervision, naming both parties specifically.
4) The Get is delivered
In the presence of witnesses, the husband gives the Get to the wife, who accepts it.
5) Confirmation is issued
The Beth Din provides a certificate, known as a Petur, confirming the divorce is complete.
Alongside the religious steps, your civil divorce will have its own timeline and costs. Our guide to how much a divorce costs explains what you can expect to pay and when.
What role does the Beth Din play in Jewish divorce rules?
In Orthodox and many Conservative communities, a religious marriage can only be ended through a rabbinical court known as the Beth Din. Some Reform or Progressive communities may place less emphasis on this formal process, or handle things differently.
Because of that, it helps to seek guidance based on your own tradition. Your rabbi or community can clarify what applies to you, and a specialist family lawyer can help you bring the religious and civil sides together.
The Beth Din guides you through the process. It makes sure the Get is written and delivered correctly, and checks that both parties understand what’s happening at each stage.
What the Beth Din does
- Confirms eligibility: The court checks that both parties are ready to proceed
- Supervises the Get: A scribe writes the document under the court’s instruction
- Witnesses delivery: Two witnesses observe the Get being handed over
- Issues confirmation: Afterwards, the court provides a certificate confirming the religious divorce is complete
Unlike civil divorce, a Get isn’t based on proving that one spouse was at fault. The focus is on following the correct religious process, and a Get can be requested at any point after separation.
What’s the difference between civil and religious divorce in the UK?
A civil divorce, granted by the courts, legally ends your marriage in the eyes of the state. A religious divorce, through the Get, ends it in the eyes of Jewish law. One doesn’t replace the other, and a civil divorce on its own isn’t enough under Jewish law.
For many couples going through a Jewish divorce in the UK, this is where uncertainty sets in, and it’s worth slowing down. Without a Get, you may still be considered married religiously even while holding a civil divorce certificate, which can leave you unable to remarry within the faith. To be fully free in both senses, you’ll usually need to complete both.
For most couples, both processes run alongside each other:
- Civil route: You apply through the family court under the no-fault divorce, which, since 2022, no longer requires any reason other than the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage
- Religious route: You arrange to get the Get through your local Beth Din
Timing matters here. If a Get is needed, it should usually be completed after the Conditional Order has been made in the civil divorce, but before the Final Order is granted. This is an important point, because once the Final Order is pronounced, the civil court may lose much of its ability to apply pressure where one party is refusing to cooperate with the religious divorce.
Advice from one of our expert solicitors
Siobhan Vegh, Partner at our family law office in Soho, says:
“Obtaining a divorce, even where there is only the civil aspect to consider, is distressing enough – adding in a religious element can significantly increase anxiety as to the process.
“With this in mind, it is crucial to obtain legal advice at an early stage to understand the legal requirements to obtain a divorce and how these intertwine with religious considerations.”
In practice, that means your family lawyer should coordinate the civil and religious timelines carefully. By making sure the Get is dealt with at the right stage, they can help protect the court’s ability to support a spouse who might otherwise be left unable to remarry within the faith.
What happens if one spouse refuses to cooperate with a Get?
In Orthodox practice, the Get is traditionally given by the husband, so the process runs most smoothly when both spouses cooperate. Complications can arise, though, if one party refuses to take part.
This is one of the hardest parts of Jewish divorce, and if you’re facing it, your worry is understandable. For many people, this isn’t just a procedural hurdle – it’s deeply personal, tied to faith, family and future relationships.
A person who cannot obtain a Get may be described as an agunah (‘chained’), unable to remarry within the faith even after a civil divorce. It’s a painful position, and one that’s far more recognised today than it once was.
Here’s where support exists:
- The Beth Din can step in: The court may apply pressure and encourage cooperation
- UK law offers protection: Under the Divorce (Religious Marriages) Act 2002, a civil court can delay finalising the civil divorce until a religious divorce is granted
- Legal advice helps: A family lawyer who understands these rules can work alongside the Beth Din to protect your position
What other protections exist if a Get is being withheld?
If a Get is being withheld, the Divorce (Religious Marriages) Act 2002 is only part of the picture. In recent years, there’s been growing recognition that refusing to cooperate with a religious divorce can, in some cases, be part of coercive and controlling behaviour.
That matters because coercive and controlling behaviour is recognised in UK law as a form of domestic abuse, which is a criminal offence. Depending on the circumstances, withholding a Get may be relevant not only within the religious process, but also in the wider legal response to domestic abuse.
If you are at immediate risk of domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247 or phone the police on 999.
Pressure can also come from within the community itself. In some Orthodox communities, the Beth Din may issue a siruv, a formal notice of non-compliance, and may impose harhakot, or communal sanctions, when a person refuses to cooperate.
These steps can be serious. Depending on the situation, they may include limiting synagogue honours, excluding the person from certain communal events, or applying other forms of religious and social pressure.
If you’re dealing with a refused or delayed Get, it’s important to take advice early. A family lawyer who understands both the legal and religious sides can help you look at the full range of options open to you.
Our experienced team can guide you through both the religious and legal sides with care and understanding – get in touch with us today to talk through your options.
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